During a recent conversation, Steven Harvey, age
45, of Indianapolis, Indiana, while being oblivious to the irony of his own
name, explained to a friend that he is completely confused what to call black
people living in the United States.
"I mean, whenever news anchors say something
like 'The robbery suspect appeared to be an African-American man in his 20s'
it's confusing because, really, what's African about him? I mean, we already have an illegal
immigration problem from Mexico as it is....now Africa?"
“I just feel bad calling someone ‘Black’” Harvey
noted. “I heard it’s kind of
insulting. I’m not really sure
though. I only know like two ‘black’
people, and we mostly just say ‘Hi’ and stuff so asking them is kind of out of
the question. I’ve heard that if one ‘black’
person has an opinion about something, then it represents the opinion of the
entire race. I thought about asking them
to lunch one day, but I wasn’t sure I’d have anything to talk about. I mean, it’s been FOREVER since I’ve seen
‘Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ or ‘The Cosby Show’”.
“Who says you can listen to your parents? My dad would always call them “colored”, but
I’m like “what color?—we’re all a color.
I’m color blind, so it’s really confusing to me. Not color blind in a ‘I’m not racist’ way,
but I’m literally color blind. To me
there are only two types of people--the ones I can see in the dark and the ones
I can’t. It makes me nervous whenever I
can’t see someone in the dark.”
He added: “I really like that song by
"Train" called "Hey Soul Sister", but I never know if I'm
singing it correctly? Is it
"Sister" with an "r" or "Sista", like in
"Sista, Sista". All of those
‘r’ ‘s are confusing. Sometimes I wish I
had a Boston accent so I could avoid all of this awkwardness with ‘r's ‘. I should probably look up the lyrics soon,
I'm going to sing karaoke tonight with my wife and some of her old law school
friends, so I'd like to be able to sing it without looking at the teleprompter.
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